Happiness or Success?

Ok, here is my current thoughts. Some of which may not make sense, but here goes... lol

Which is better happiness or success? And do you need success for happiness? What if on your way to achieving your dreams, which make you happy, you realize that the road to it, is not happiness. And if the road to happiness is not happy, then the destination won't be any better.

Ok, here is my dilemna. I love photography. I want to travel and I have so many dreams as to what I want to do with my photography. I have been working at a studio for about 8 months now, and now they are telling me that they want me to be studio manager after Christmas. This is great news! or is it? It is a pay raise, a great opportunity doing what I love, and would be great! But it is going to work every day, working hourly, and only getting one week vacation a year. Is that a life? Or is this what I am supposed to do, so that ultimately I can have a life. I am used to hanging out with friends, enjoying every day, and now this is a big responsiblity. Do I settle down and take the smart road or do I up and hit the road like I've recently been itching to do and start doing my independent photography again, this time with even more experience and confidence. Even as I am writing this, I know what I would tell myself if I were someone else. Stick with it. Put in the time and you'll be glad. But will I? Or will I be working myself in circles, until a few years down the road, I am at the same place. I want to do something bigger. So is this baby steps, or is it a detour? My manager right now is stressed out. She has been doing this for 20 years. She has no life, is always stressed out, and is a great photographer. While I know being studio manager, I would have the opportunity to determine the feel and success of the studio, I don't want to blink my eyes and feel the same way as my manager, only to quit after a few years and not have much to show for it.

So there is my dilemna. lol It kinda helps just writing about it.

Christian TV

I am sitting there, not able to believe myself. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I am watching a preacher on TV. What have I come to? I think to myself! Wow, I have come a long way!

It wasn't too long ago, that I thought Christian TV had gotten a little cheesy. On top of that, I took pride in the fact that I didn't cry. What has happened so dramatic in my life that simply watching a preacher on TV would bring me to tears? Well, if you are looking for an answer, I simply don't have one! But all of a sudden, a message has new life for me. All of sudden, I see these same faces I always thought were a little cheesy, and I see the impact they make in people's lives and the hope they are preaching. All of sudden, I think about the person sitting there watching it that might be getting saved and the message suddenly has new meaning.

Maybe I'm getting older, maybe it's because I have a nephew and niece now, or maybe I realize I am not so high and mighty and cool as I used to feel! lol But for some reaon, I find myself wanting to support Christian TV, support missionaries, and for once not be so fast to laugh off a little dramatic preaching. For whatever reason, I think it's a good thing. Maybe it's time for us Christians to accept different styles for the sake of the true Gospel! Or maybe everyone already knows this and I am just catching on! lol :)

Florida

I love Florida! It is just fun! I work at Outback, play Rockband which is my current favorite past time! On times I feel like chillin I either sit and watch a movie with my little sis, or I go hang out at Starbucks and read. Either way, I like the relaxed atmosphere. There is alot of fun things going on here. But mostly I like who I plan to become here. I have goals for this year in Florida, and it feels good. It feels exciting. A friend and I were deciding what we wanted out of this year and we decided that 2008 would be the year we ate. We ate, we devoured, we were filled. Our appetite for life, to live to the extreme, to fulfill and conquer. This would be the year! And it will be, the year I can look back and say in 2008, I ate...and it tasted good!!!!

Saturday Night Relaxation

Ok, everyone knows that on a Saturday night, you should be out doing something fun. And if you're not? Well, you are a loser...or so society sometimes will make you feel! But I am here to say, I don't feel like doing anything this Saturday night, and if I do, it is probably involving Borders and a cup of coffee. What is this new feeling I have? lol Is it the weather, making me feel cozy indoors, or is it the fact that I am in a new city by myself, and don't want to explore, or is it in fact, that I have gotten more comfortable in my baggy sweatpants and tshirt than in regular clothes? Maybe it is a combination of all of them. But I am content to sit by myself here and read. Crazy!!! But it does bring to mind that I do need to stop wearing sweatpants and am currently on a mission to redo my entire wardrobe. Stay posted on that! If you have any encouragement or tips, I am more than open to them. It is something that has never been a huge part of my concern, and that is good, but it is time. It is time to step up to the next phase and really pull myself together, makeup and all! So, here are my thoughts on this Saturday night. I don't feel bad that I am not gallybatting around town, nor do I really feel like it, but I don't want it to be because I am more comfortable in sweatpants than going out clothes!

Nashville, TN - another stop in my travels!

I am here in Nashville, TN staying at another sister's house. She is out of town, so I get a quiet weekend by myself to relax and recuperate. Although I wish she was here (that would be so much more fun!), I actually am enjoying the relaxation that had to be practically forced upon me! I didn't think I would like Nashville, but I actually do. I can't tell if it is because it reminds me so much of being in college, or if it is the fall weather that is perfect, or if it is the city of country music. It is a college town, which adds a young, hip vibe to the town. For being the country music capital, there are surprisingly no good radio stations that I have found! Wierd! Downtown is cool, lined with restaurant after restaurant, accompanied by plenty of bars and karoke spots. There is definitely plenty to do in downtown Nashville, especially if drinking in part of your plans. Surprisingly, I have never been to the Old Spaghetti Factory, which is a huge restaurant on the downtown strip, so I decided to have dinner there last night. I was not disappointed. I met up with an old friend, and we went for dinner and some catching up. I didn't try dessert, as I have been trying to exercise some better choices when it comes to food! :) (We'll see how that goes!) But the dessert menu looked out of this world! Every dessert on there, I wanted to try! After visiting a while longer we made our way to a cute little hole in the wall place for drinks and dessert! lol Yes, and I had a chocolate milkshake, which was exquisite! :) And I am not ashamed to say it. Well, I am about to go meet up with another friend to do some pumpkin carving, so that should be fun! I will keep you posted!

Reward for the end of the day!

The quiet greets me like a welcome song. After a full day of bustling noise, kids playing, and at times crying when things went wrong, laughter, and lively talk, the sound of quiet is a sweet melody. I sit hear by myself, too awake to go to sleep, although I know that in the morning, I will wish I went to bed hours ago!

I am visiting my sisters here, and having a good time. This time of quiet reflection, as I finish my cup of coffee, reminds me of times when we were itching to part ways. We had our ambitions, and felt like the second we left the house, they were going to hit us in the face, like the wind when you are driving down the highway! As our paths have winded and grown in front of us, we have experienced things that we can smile about. Some things fun, some lessons learned, and some regrets, but most of all experiences that make us who we are today. And who are we today? We are sisters, that have come together and realize that above all else, we have each other. That family is the one thing that you cannot change. And I am glad that God, in all His wisdom made it that way.